That said, I did do a pretty good job this week, and turned things around drastically. While I haven’t been eating perfectly clean, I cleaned it up enough to destroy my migraine within 24 hours of beginning. I’m still amazed: it’s like there’s a migraine switch in my head, and I have the power to flip it on or off. I’ve had regular migraines since I was a pre-adolescent, and the experience has always been one of having no control over my body.

Last week, when the pain was at its worst, I couldn’t sleep. I normally have a constantly running stream of chatter in my brain–I’m talking to myself, or planning conversations, or rehashing old conversations, or sometimes actually narrating what’s going on around me or what I’m doing (okay that’s weird)–and when the pain is that extreme even those words in my head make it worse, as though someone is yelling in my ear.  Sleep is really the only way to escape migraine pain once it’s begun, and I was longing for that shutdown.

Desperate to quiet my anxious thoughts, I grabbed a notebook and scribbled down exactly how I was feeling. A week later, with an amazing 0% pain level, I went back to read that. I felt sorry for the person who wrote it, and I sure didn’t want to be in her place, but it’s hard to connect that to my reality. I need to read it every day, to remind myself that  the Whole30 is worth dedication, for this and so many other reasons.

It’s incredible that one small change (for me, specifically removing gluten) in my diet can turn my life around 180 degrees.

So even though it’s not easy, it’s still worth the struggle. I think the best I can do for now is to continue trying, and deciding to make that effort on more days than I don’t.